Earlier this morning, a student was arrested at taser-point by S.W.A.T. officers for eating Mr. Beast’s “Lunchly” – a somehow cheaper knockoff of previously existing “Lunchables” – at their workstation. Originally, officers arrived solely due to the fact a student dared to eat food next to their computers in lab B116C, but things quickly became more serious when they realized the gravity of the situation. “What kind of freak would spend money on and consume that stuff?” asked Officer Storm, clearly shaken from the experience. An investigation has been launched and, as punishment, the student has been sentenced to 10 minutes of listening to Orion repeatedly saying “sus” and “rizzler”. We here at Channel 0 News have no clue what those words mean, but judging by the abject horror on the student’s face, they have our thoughts and prayers.
Update: The student has since opted for a 2 year prison sentence instead.

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