A student is in critical condition at Thunder Bay’s local hospital after collapsing due to starvation. “There’s really nothing we can do. Our hands are tied here,” officials in charge of cafeteria pricing said in response to the occurrence. “Ever since Gail Parnega had the minimum wage reduced, this has happened countless times. If only there were some way to feed the brains and bodies of our hard-working students for a reasonable price.” While we here at Channel 0 News have been ordered encouraged to not remind readers of staggering inflation, it’s hard to discredit the effect it’s had on younger generations. Maybe students should just work three extra jobs on top of attending classes. Ever think of that?